Why a Simple Cake Is Such a Big Deal

Medical professionals share why it’s so important to cultivate moments of joy while living with a critical illness.

When the focus of life becomes going to doctor appointments, completing medical tests, and managing pain, joy is a feeling that can often get lost in the shuffle. But for a child living with a chronic illness, small moments of joy are of vital importance.

“These families deserve an escape,” says Icing Smiles Executive Directory Tracy Quisenberry. “These kids are poked and prodded and go through unimaginable pain and agony. Their childhood is robbed from them. We can take something simple like a cake and have an impact while they’re waiting for a cure. We give them one day of normalcy where they can celebrate, where they’re allowed to be a child.”

Hope directly impacts quality of life and health outcomes, particularly for individuals living with chronic disease. Research shows that hope can help children feel like they are a person outside of the disease. It offers something to look forward to. It inspires feelings of vitality and lightness of spirit.

When it comes to living with a chronic disease, there is so much out of our control that it’s easy to lose sight of what we can control. But one thing we can do is cultivate small moments of hope and joy — and children have a great capacity for them both. It doesn’t take much to make them happy. They laugh without being reminded, dance spontaneously, and see wonder and harmony in the universe.

One of the special things about joy is that it can be very simple — and that’s why a cake from an Icing Smiles Sugar Angel is a pretty big deal.

So Much More Than a Cake

Lauren Smith was sitting in her son’s hospital room. They’d been there for over 30 days, and Xavier’s eighth birthday was fast approaching. Lauren couldn’t stomach the thought of celebrating from the hospital.

She Googled “special needs birthday” and up popped Icing Smiles. “At that time, he was gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free, so I didn’t think we would ever find a baker,” recalls Lauren, who lives in Bradenton, Florida.

But Icing Smiles did. On Aug. 23, 2013, Xavier received a baseball-themed cake — no gluten, eggs, or dairy in sight. “It was the first food my son was allowed to eat by mouth in four years,” Lauren says. “He thought it was amazing.”

As a former medical social worker and as a mom of four, three of whom have complex medical conditions, Lauren understands the importance of joy during treatment for childhood degenerative illnesses. “I’ve been in their shoes,” Lauren says. “I know that birthdays are not promised and that each birthday for us is huge.”

For Xavier, each birthday cake he receives from Icing Smiles is a chance to affirm that chronic illness is only one part of his life. “His birthday cake is probably where I see most of his inner personality come out,” his mom says. “He really sits and thinks about these themes. It’s a chance for him to express himself. It is like his pride and joy.”

Xavier's Cakes Over the Years

As Icing Smiles’ Southern Regional Coordinator, Lauren speaks often with Sugar Angels about the impact they have on families: “This is so much more than a cake,” she tells them. “You are giving the family and the child so many memories. You can put such a labor of love into making that cake, but it’s not the cake you’re delivering. You’ll get an email from a family that’s like, ‘This cake is beautiful, but I have to tell you how special the interaction with the baker was and that I saw my child smile when I haven’t seen them smile like that in forever.’ That’s what the child is going to talk about. That’s what the family’s going to talk about.”

A Little Dose of Normal

As a physician for over 20 years, Amy Jo Reed Friedman has seen many children and families affected by illness.

“A lot of these kids are in and out of the hospital,” Amy Joy says. “Their conditions are fragile enough that they get to go home, but then two or three days later, something else happens and they’re back in the hospital. They can’t really make plans to go on vacation or celebrate a birthday because they never know what’s going to come up. Everything is always up in the air.”

Chronic illness can have a negative effect not only on a child’s physical state but also on their emotional and mental well-being. It can cause tremendous amounts of stress for other family members, too. Parents might struggle emotionally, socially, physically, and financially as they cope with the care of the child. Siblings might also feel anger, jealousy, or guilt toward their sick sibling.

“The parents are always worried,” Amy Jo says. “That’s one of the things that I think is really cool about Icing Smiles — it includes the siblings. I see a lot of people who come into my office and everything is focused on one child. They don’t really have the energy or the time to think beyond that.”

Amy Jo joined Icing Smiles as a Sugar Angel in the Cleveland area about two years ago. A self-taught baker, she’s responded to three calls to action. “Icing Smiles is a wonderful bridge between my clinical daily job and my creative hobby of cake decorating,” she says. “Being in the medical field, I have intimate knowledge of what these families are dealing with both medically and socially, and being able to provide a smile; help with one task, even if it is just providing a cake; or just being able to say, ‘I think I know what you are going through,’ fulfills me more than seeing a patient in my office.”

Amy Jo Reed Friedman has responded to three CTAs for Icing Smiles. Her first creation was a Hulk cake for Isaiah. Her most recent was a Donkey Hodie-inspired cake for 3-year-old Aiden.

“People remember those little things,” Amy Jo continues. “It’s something that allows them to take a few minutes and relax and not have to think about the medical treatment that’s going on at the same time. It’s a little dose of normal.”